Today is exactly the day 6 years
ago my mother passed away.
From the day she died until now,
I think I never wrote anything about her.
But in the remembrance of her in
this 6th year, I feel that I have to write something…
It’s not a sentimental story, but just an honest story about my mother’s
legacy in me
I believe what I have become now
is because of her big influence and teaching in my life.
If I can stand on my own feet and
independent, it is part of her legacy in my life.
I remember since I was a little
girl, my mother, who was a volunteer in our church, bring me everywhere to join
her in all her activities. I remember that my priest called me “Little image of
her” because he saw the resemblance of her in me, especially the cheerful and
talkative (yes, that is who I am since the very beginning.. until now I guess…)
I remember I was asked to join
fashion show competition in wearing national/ traditional clothes in the church.
My mother prepared me to wear an uniform… and they gave a time to practice so I
know the way and how to do it. I remember that time I’m still in kindergarden. When
I reached the stage, I don’t want to move unless my mother will walk through me
all the way (yes, I am scary at that time)… since this is a competition, no way
my mom could walk me all along the way… I would have to walk by myself… so the
practice session is a failure.. no matter my mom tried to persuade me, I stop
walking after I reached the stage…
And the time of competition come….
I think my mom tried to find a way to make me walk the stage without her
companion.. so I remember she said like this to me “I’m sorry. I cannot watch
you walk the stage, because I have something to do. Just remember what we have
practiced before at home.. do as it is…” and yes.. I’m hard to say no and
whinning because my mother wouldn’t allowed that.. so I listened and tried my
best to walk alone there and just tried to finish my part there… after that it
will be over… What I didn’t know was that my mom never leave the place and her
word was only to make me brave enough to walk alone.. She got me but her action
made me win the first prize J
Another thing that she
loved to do to me was asking me to the market. First, she just showed me around
the market, this shop to buy what, this shop to buy other, etc, etc, etc. and
she always introduced me to the owner of the shop and asked me to remember
his/her name, so next time she asked me to go by myself I won’t get lost… at the very beginning, I often asked… why me? My
mother just simply answered…”Trust me, it’s for your own good” But later on, I
found out, I love being in the market because I find my playground in the
market hehehehe (yup it’s me) I can sit and talk with the owner just to feed up
my curiosity on anything… and later I realized, that order made me to go
shopping or travel by myself or even later on surviving on the work place
outside Java… J
I also remember how
people talked about how my mother is full of compassion on helping people. And sometimes
I also joined her or she shared about someone who needs help. She has a really
big heart to care for others when they are suffer, and I remember 2 days before
she was gone, she joined also the church teams for visiting people in sickness
and she told them that it is probably her last visit with the team. I’m glad her
compassion influenced me to help them whenever I can although not really as
much as hers..
But on recent days,
what I remember now is how my mom took care of her father in Bandung when she
had the chance to visit him there. And I’m lucky that almost in every school
holiday (the long one), I had the chance to stay there at least 2 weeks and
without I realize probably I watched just in general back then how she took
care of her father patiently and somehow it stuck in my mind, like she’s
telling me that when your parents need help, you should be there and help whenever
you can…
Although I know, I’m
way too far from my mother’s patience on taking care of her father, I think my
decision on quit my job and took care of my father also was influenced by the
example my mother has given. Although so many times, I question my decision and
sometimes doubt whether this is the best decision I ever made, but at the end
her example made me realize probably this is the best thing I should have done
right now.. and just give my every worries to God to be settled..
Just a simple things
and thought she taught me all my life on how to be responsible for my life and
I’m proud to say that I can be who I am right now because of all the influences
she has put in my life, and I can’t stop telling more and more stories about
her
Although it’s been 6
years since she was gone, I feel that she is always stay with me.. her legacy
will always in my heart and in my action so she can still be proud of me like I
love her and very proud of her...I love you Mom…
August 3, 2007 - 2013
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